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I’d Say This Was Just a Little More Than a Spark

MOVIE REVIEW
Firestarter (2022)

rated  –   star star star star star

Genre: Drama, Horror, Sci-Fi
Year Released: 2022
Runtime: 1h 34m
Director(s): Keith Thomas
Writer(s): Scott Teems (screenplay by,) Stephen King (based on the novel by)
Cast: Zac Efron, Ryan Kiera Armstrong, Sydney Lemmon, Michael Greyeyes, Gloria Reuben, Kurtwood Smith
Where To Watch: In theaters now and streaming on Peacock


In 1984, a young Drew Barrymore was the lead in an adaptation of Stephen King’s FIRESTARTER adaptation directed by Mark L. Lester. Until I wrote this review, I hadn’t seen the original film, and I thought the only fair way to review the new one was to visit the original film first. Ultimately, I was let down by the original movie and the remake. The original suffered from multiple things; Barrymore's insufferable performance was at the front. While I appreciate her acting as an adult, her various roles as a child left a lot to be desired. It takes a lot for a child actor to impress me, and this was no exception. She seemed to go back and forth from being in character to dramatically overacting. In addition to Barrymore’s role, David Keith, who played her father, was nearly as bad (especially anytime his “psychic” abilities would come into play.) I will admit that the fire used in the film was often very well done; my theory is that they realized they couldn’t fake it convincingly, so they decided to catch a whole lot of things on fire.

While the new release didn’t suffer from the same issues, starring Zac Efron, Ryan Kiera Armstrong, and Sydney Lemmon, I found it boring, and the pacing was all over. While the effects were well done, I often lost interest because the story didn’t stay consistent. It suffered greatly because, in my opinion, the slow burn and lack of action didn’t fit the story's narrative. A slow-burn horror film can work, but it has to be handled with care. This felt like an unnecessary attempt at NBCUniversal trying to do a quick cash grab with a property they had the rights to. They knew it as well since they released it free on their streaming platform Peacock and in theaters simultaneously. Thankfully I have the AMC A-List plan, which grants me three movies a week for a set monthly fee.

On a positive note, Ryan Kiera Armstrong, who plays Barrymore’s role in the original film, did an admirable job. She wasn’t nearly as “whiney” and served as a strong force in the movie. While Barrymore finally stepped up in the end, for the majority of the film, she played pretty helplessly throughout the film. Armstrong more or less takes control from the start and only grows more into her powers. At only 12 years old, she already has a pretty extensive filmography, having 18 credits to her name.

I’m not generally against remakes, especially of older properties. If handled correctly, they can breathe new life into it and get a new generation of audiences interested in it. Sadly more often than not, they’re dealt with this way and, in doing so, make remakes look to always be a bad thing. 

Ironically, the music for this film was made by John Carpenter (yes, that John Carpenter, famed writer of HALLOWEEN.) He was set to direct the original FIRESTARTER in 1984, but his film THE THING failed financially. Instead, he went on to direct CHRISTINE (another Stephen King adaptation.) It’s weird how Hollywood works; one missed opportunity can lead to a world of success or end your career entirely.

The good thing is that you don’t have to invest a lot into this one; if you’re going to see it in theaters, some great matinee rates are usually offered. You can also stream for free (with ads) on the Peacock app.

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